Your world vs mine
18 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in Ramblings of a sleepy mind Tags: breathing creature, diamond solitaire, gaming, mask, saturday and sunday, solitaire
I do not belong in your world, just as you do not belong in mine. The main difference would be I would not break your efforts if you tried paying me a visit. I have to be present in your world everyday from 8:30 till 5:30 or so, except on Saturday and Sunday (when I am lucky enough). I do not like it here, at your place, the mask is too transparent, I always get caught among the masses. I admire your games, however, Make yourself indispensable, and you will move up. Act as though you are indispensable, and you will move out”, my dear Jules, the times they are changing, indispensable can never relate to a breathing creature, nowadays, a car, a must have accessory, a diamond solitaire and so on and so forth are indispensable. And to you my wise D’Ormont, I dedicate this post, for “They can because they think they can.
But is it enough?
Mayalynn's alt world
Blahbylon…and on and on
05 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
The thing I hate most about my job, any job requiring computer literacy, is summarised by the supercilious ‘stamp of corporate anal constipation ‘Kind (kindest, best, warm, etc.) Regards’ I need to shove up the arse of every email I send- why haven’t we come up with new e-communication suppository? And they sent a man on the moon…pffff humbug!
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Homosapiens in Denial
16 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Surfbored Tags: window shopping 4dummies
when Dutti calls
Compromising with Society
22 Oct 2010 1 Comment
Did you know that Socrates (ABSIT INIURIA VERBIS}, was blah blah blah and that Kierkegaard was blah blah blah? How can ‘the good to know’ make you feel so stupid and inadequate and boring? Is it possible that you have to take ten steps back to become more inviting? Give up natural beauty for the vulgar ‘yes-they’re-fake’ one; vacate your eyes, an empty nonetheless declaring ‘yes in fact I love sodomy’ to substitute the ‘untamed-wild-smart-but-never-done-it-up-the-ass’ look; exaggerated exposure instead of subtle disclosure, give up Karl Marx for Karl Lagerfeld, Jean Paul Sartre for Jean Paul Gautier, Lord Byron for Lord Kossity, Giorgio de Santillana for Giorgio Armani and so on and so forth…
Below are some handy tips based on actual pragmatic experience and other occurrences, which I’m sure will minister to this decadent abyssal journey towards ‘improvement’, /although they are all of false nature, I should highlight the fact that they do not mean that the person who uses these terms or practices these ideals is stupid, a contriario, (allow me to bask in my useless vocabulary one last time before my destructive purgatory towards identity reform), they just denote some of the standard pre-requisites for social acceptance.
And now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present to you a shy thesis on how to achieve social fashionable restructuring. By the end of this crash course I am sure that I will be one of ‘YOU’, I will be able to sit at your table without annoying your brain with verbal inputs that are dispensable to your esteemed society, information that is frowned upon and is considered as inappropriate to the new Millennia mundane community, and thus I will achieve the desired commitment to your oath:
Spend money you don’t have, to buy things you don’t need, to impress people you don’t even like.
*To facilitate the healing process, the title of each segment is a symptomatic hint to help you with your auto-diagnosis.
On Enumeration:
I-We had a wonderful time, everyone from the office was there, Toni was there, Cynthia, Rami, Alphonse etc…
*IF YOU CAN OUTLINE THE MISTAKE, THEN YOU TOO, ARE INFECTED, AND I SUGGEST IMMEDIATE QUARANTINE FROM ANY BOOK THAT IS NOT SOLD ON THE MAGAZINE SHELF OR NEXT TO PAULO COELHO’S LATEST BEST-SELLER.
On statements:
II- Being a Lebanese, I can assure you that all Lebanese are liars!
*This following statement isn’t as harmful as its predecessor; if you are a female; I recommend frequent manicure & pedicure sessions and an increase of visits to the hairdresser; if you are a Male, well you need to upgrade your magazine subscription from Penthouse to Playboy and browse the internet for porn more often – no one likes a wise-guy –
Lost in Translation
III- P.S stands for the French ‘Pour Savoir’, while ‘N.B’ is the abbreviation of ‘Nota Bene’
*Not to worry if you got this one right, it’s like having a mild headache; the remedy here is to stop reading your boss’ or colleagues’ emails, they were forwarded to you by mistake!
On Zoology
IV-There exists different types of fish: blowfish, clownfish, sardines, sol, whales…However, not all of them can be found in the Mediterranean Sea.
*Getting this one right may indicate that the infection is at a developed stage; females: try watching Turkish or Syrian soap operas, if that doesn’t help then I recommend a full in-depth study on what is Nancy Ajram’s favourite meal, then compare it with Haifa’s daily events, and how it may affect May Hariri’s audience. Male: I want to see an extensive file on whose boobs are bigger, (Nancy, Haifa or May?) who is the surgeon behind each masterpiece and if he can provide you with authentic naked pictures of the above mentioned trio, and if possible, the homemade porn movie each starred in, with complete detailed profiling on the lucky bastard who co-starred in the: ‘she deserves an Academy award for her performance in the WOW I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE WAS FAKING IT’ film.
